Today’s blog post is a rambling about my feelings, difficulties
I’ve been face to face with for months, and ways I’m pulling myself out.
I have been having what I call the “I don’t want to”
lately. It’s almost a borderline
depression/anxiety/mood disorder, but not severe enough to need
intervention. It’s also disguised as
laziness, but it’s not. I just don’t
want to. I just don’t want to take the
effort to do anything- big or small. I
don’t want to exercise even though I know it will make me feel better, because
I don’t want to. I don’t want to go to
work, not because it’s bad but because I just don’t want to. I don’t want to write a blog post, because I
just don’t want to. I don’t want to eat
healthy, because I want brainless quick food because I don’t want to cook or
prep or be responsible. The list goes
on and on.
I’m writing about this because it’s a thing I think a lot of
people suffer with but have a hard time putting into words. I have a hard time putting it into words and
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it as both a medical professional and a
mother/runner/woman who doesn’t want to feel this way, but doesn’t want to put
in the work it takes to get out- because I don’t want to.
So, this post is some words of advice as a mother/runner/women/health
professional/personal development reader.
Some are my ideas, some are other’s ideas (I will give credit), some are
twists on other people’s ideas after being processed through my brain. But, one thing right now- this isn’t a touchy-feely/things
will be okay post, this is a raw real advice that can help post. In the words of my Disney running group- no
pixie dust up the bum here.
First, it’s okay to feel how you feel. We all have challenges. We all have ups and downs. We all have struggles. We all have excuses. But….
Second, call out your excuses. That is what they all are. Excuses.
I’m too tired. I’m too busy. My kids don’t let me. My budget doesn’t allow. These are all excuses. They may be accurate, and they may be holding
you back, but they all can be changed if YOU WANT TO. I FIRMLY BELIEVE THERE IS ZERO EXCUSE THAT IS
LIFE LONG AND UNCHANGABLE.
- - You have bad knees and can’t exercise? Tell that to the military man who is running marathons with a prosthetic leg. You can find something to do- it might hurt but who freaking cares. If your health is worth it you will make it happen.
- - You have budget issues and can’t afford healthy food? Bull. With proper meal planning and using sales it’s less expensive to buy healthy stuff than junk food, PLUS when you eat healthier, you’ll need less trash to fill you up. And don’t get me started on restaurant prices- if you can eat out even just once a week you can buy healthy food at a store.
- - You don’t have time. BIG LOAD OF BULL. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. Why do some people seem to do it all and others can’t get things done? Priority and excuses. That’s all.
- - There’s many, many more along this line…but you get the point.
Third is a suggestion to start moving forward out of the “I
don’t want to.” Do it anyway. UGH.
So awful, so unkind, but the only way to start climbing out of the hole. Start with one thing. That’s what I’m doing
now. I found a way to stay accountable
with exercise 3 times a week and have been doing it for 8 weeks now. I also have gotten my supplements
straightened out and stopped using excuses to not take them. They really help and are great tools, but tools
don’t work alone. We must do the
work. Now I’m going to start kicking myself in the
butt with eating, because honestly that’s what’s suffering the worst. It’s not going to be easy, but I found a new
mantra which is from the Marines, but I read it in the book High Performance
Habits by Brenden Burchard which is “embrace the suck.” This is what I need to do. Embrace the fact that it’s not going to be
fun, but it needs done anyways. If I don’t
embrace the suck and keep going for easy, then I will not only not meet my
goals but continue down a path that WILL lead to depression and anxiety that
needs medicated.
Fourth- goes along with that quote- the self-talk in your
brain needs a talking to. To be honest,
I’ve been full of negative self-talk. It’s
so not good to talk bad to yourself, it’s pulling you further down in the hole
you’re in. There are several books I’ve
read on the topics and just reading the book even if you don’t put everything
into practice can help pull you up to a better place! Some books I recommend- Girl Wash Your Face
by Rachel Hollis and What to Say When You Talk to Yourself by Chad
Helmstetter. Being honest, I’m in a
weird in-between spot where I’m yelling at myself for being down on myself- not
sure if that counts as a negative self-talk or positive self-talk but here, I
am!
I’m a work in progress too.
This is where I am. I’m tired of
running myself in circles and being committed for a day or two but then doing
the easy thing which isn’t getting me to where I want to be. As I work through my issues and continue to dig
out, I will post more rambling posts with the hope I can help others get cured
from the “I don’t want to” also.
Blessings in Health and Happiness.
