Naps and Moods

Like my title?   So, if you haven't already noticed, when things are going well in the LeMaster household, you get daily posts!  When things are stressful, my posts decrease.

Depression and anxiety are strange creatures.  I mean, they aren't creatures at all.  They're brain chemicals messing up your whole body.  They interact throughout life and change moment to moment. 

I have never napped as much as I have the last 2 weeks of January and first week of February.  I can't decide if it's all the anxiety and depression, or partially because of working less so I had the opportunity? 

I seriously wonder if there's something else going on other than moods and stress.  Kind of hard to tell when it's all stress all the time. 

We now have insurance- which means time to set up a lot of appointments.  Dermatology, Allergist, Eye doctor, Psychiatrist, Neuropsychiatrist, Counseling, bloodwork and normal check ups.   Some of these now have to change due to insurance benefits.  Then we think we find someone covered, and they don't actually take the insurance.  Not to mention the costs- copays, deductibles, not covered services. 

I have a job, but don't have set hours.  We have money in savings, but not much coming in.  We don't qualify for aide.  So while we aren't in any danger right now, it's a constant worry in the back of my head.

Eli's school work is possibly taking another turn.  We have been struggling and researching different options including non-traditional routes.  I know I'll get flack for doing what I'm really leaning towards right now, but I also think it's probably the best route.  So I'm digging, looking into programs, looking at research, thinking outside of the box and the whole time knowing in the back of my head people will judge me and think I'm doing the wrong thing.  And I'm worried about them being right. 

My exercise and eating healthy is a roller coaster.  Good days, bad days, just get through it all days, just screw it all days. 

Overall I'm doing much better this week.   Smoothies almost every day for breakfast, salads for most lunches, lots of fresh fruits and veggies for snacks.  Dinners mostly meats and veggies.  For valentines day we splurged with a nice meal- poor man's steak with onion/mushroom gravy (a hamburger patty with gravy and caramelized onions and mushrooms on it), roasted broccoli, roasted yellow potatoes, and sweet Hawaiian Rolls.  Cheesecake for dessert.  So good and a nice dinner at home. 

So there's my update for now.  Crazy time, crazy life, blessed but stressed.  Sums it up.

Blessings in Health and Happiness-

Panem et Circenses

What does this phrase mean?  Bread and Circuses.  Attributed to Juvenal in ancient Rome, the phrase is widely fitting for our society today in more ways than one.

So my blog posting frequency is often directly related to my mental health and the business that comes with life.  My mental health is related to several things- my world in my house, the world outside of my house, my relationship with my Creator, my physical health and more. 

The world outside of my house has been exhaustingly dual-sided in the last few weeks, at least in my social media feed.  To the point of my interaction with social media has decreased and I'm sure if there's someone spying on my activity they wonder what's going on. 

Right now, I feel like our world is a circus.  Media, entertainment, news, healthcare, and politics.  All just a show for people to pick sides and yell their opinion for the crowd to listen to.

Real people are dying, from both the flu and the novel coronavirus emerging from China.  Some people are quick to share all the news about the new virus, while others are yelling to worry about the flu that is rapidly spreading through our country.  The stories that stem from this- death threats to mother's whose child has died from the flu, cheers and jeers to the doctor from china for being a whistleblower, to people blowing off the coronavirus as nothing because it's listed on Lysol wipes.  The misinformation abounds and trying to correct the masses is a futile exercise.

The Superbowl halftime show immediately blew up the internet.  I'm sure all the media people were very happy to hear it talked about nonstop- positive or negative.  I don't know about everyone else, but everyone I saw on Facebook either loved it- go girl power, Latinas rock, look at those smoking bodies, or hated it- why political, why a pole, look at those smoking bodies. Some people lost friends over whether or not they liked the show or agreed/disagreed with it.  Crazy.  Especially since everyone is right.  It was a political show with strong Latin themes with two over 40 women with smoking hot bodies wearing costumes reminiscent of ice skating with dancing including a pole (which isn't just used by strippers BTW).   My thought after the show was it was what I expected of a J-Lo/Shakira concert and thought it was good.  If I had small children would I have let them watch it?  Not sure, but I also wouldn't take them to a J-lo or Shakira concert, so......  but the circus is why do we start hating people and blocking people over whether or not they liked a show?

About 24 hours after the circus of SuperBowl was in full swing, the State of the Union speech happened.  And my newsfeed blew up again.  And once again people hating, fighting, unfriending, unable to have an adult conversation.   I only kind of jokingly remarked to my family that I wish the Illuminati- or whoever actually runs the country- could stop putting clowns in office because we look dumb.  Both sides waving and screaming why their politician is justified in the way they acted or was portrayed, but I would have been embarrassed if I were standing up there.  If it was a family member acting that way.  If it were a good friend up there.  All politics aside, do we want our leaders to be name-calling, disrespectful and hateful?  Whatever happened to the high road?  What happened to being the better person?  Is it impossible to get into office with these qualities now?  I know there is no such thing as bad press, but there should be.

But every story has three sides- person A's view, person B's view, and the truth which typically lies between.

Instead, we focus on the circus act and keep juggling.  Voluntarily keeping ourselves ignorant on subjects and focusing all our eyes on ridiculous entertainment.  Dividing ourselves into camps that are so radical that once emotionally invested in one side, it becomes difficult to even reason with the person on a minor issue.

Can't you see for the SuperBowl both camps are right and that's okay?  Entertainment is an individual's preference and there's nothing wrong with liking or not liking entertainment?

Can't you see both sides of the State of the Union fiasco are wrong?  Political leaders being rude and disrespectful on both sides is ridiculous and should be ashamed.

Can't you see that the flu/coronavirus isn't about one being worse than the other, but understanding that life is fragile and we need to be aware of how the world is connected and keeping healthy and sharing resources is important and valuable?

I don't have all the answers.  I don't know all the right and wrong.  My view isn't always the best view.

But I do know it's right to have an open mind, to be respectful, and to have a conversation (and no, it doesn't have to be online- actually offline is better.  Face to face best).  It doesn't mean you can't post something- but read it, understand it, and be open to different opinions.  If you comment on something you have a different opinion on, be respectful, courteous. 

And as my mom always told me, if you don't have something nice to say, you don't have to say anything at all.  Just scroll by.  It doesn't hurt a bit.

Blessings-