What if God made you this way?

Work on yourself is the scariest.  If you've never done personal growth work- the kind that makes you look yourself in you heart and admit things to yourself, you don't know what I'm saying but the reason you haven't done it is probably fear.  

Tonight, I did most of a video from my girl Rachel Hollis walking her members of her RISE conference through goal setting and dream catching.  They sent the link as part of her Last 90 Days emails- pop over to her website to get in on this.  Definitely not too late. 

Cried I did.  A lot.  Ugh.  Dreaming of where you should be, could be, want to be is hard and puts it on your heart.  Some main points....

• Dream big- dream like you're dreaming something up for your best friend.
• The price of the life you want is the life you have.
• We diminish our light because we worry our glow will both someone else.
• She challenges those who suffer with anxiety- are you trying to please other people instead of being true to yourself?  That's why she suffered.
• What if God made you this way?  Even if it's extra.  What if it's on your heart from your creator.  

I'm still needing to refine and then work on my road-map for success- but my anxiety has actually calmed tonight after listening.  

Food today was okay- but I have snacked a little.  First thing was running!  Go me for getting up and doing it (although my throat hurts and it really sucks running when you can't swallow)

Breakfast of eggs and pineapple!  Had all my morning supplements too (Ease, Slim, Vitalbiome, and X-factor)

Mid morning had my Bio Cleanse and a Snack of Cottage Cheese.  I think I swiped a few fruit snacks too- dinosaur variety if it matters!  Water, water, water!

Lunch was some Caesar Salad and I snagged 2 pieces of pineapple from the fridge. I also swiped 6 chips from Eli's plate (he had chips and salsa)

In the afternoon, I wanted to have some Count Chocula Cereal.  My sweet Ella reminded me I could have a Chocolate Lean and it would be healthier.  Smart girl- I shook one up.  Awhile later some Bio Cleanse and water, water, water. 

Dinner was shrimp and veggie curry stew.  I usually make this with chicken and can't get enough.  The shrimp wasn't the same.  So one bowl was good with my Balance 20 minutes before and one slice of butter bread with it.  

Took my bedtime stuff (mega-x, Ease and Probio5) just now with more water (I have drank 11 16-oz bottles today).

Now I'm ready for relaxation and wind down before sleeping.  Planning on sleeping good tonight!  Tomorrow is a work day, so we'll see how that goes!

Rollercoaster...of moods, not Love

I got the song "Roller coaster of Love" in my head.  No idea where from.  I probably haven't heard it in years....but there is it. 

It jumped in my head when I was reflecting on how today went.   When it comes to my moods, it's been a roller coaster of mad, sad, tired, fine, a little happy.  Lots of fun. 

*weird thing that I hope helps me.....I'm actually sharing with my husband more of my feelings.  Like saying them instead of letting him guess what crazy person he'll be dealing with.  Other than telling him I'm moody I've never really shared with him details.  We'll see how this makes a difference or not on my successfully pulling myself back up.*

So...this morning started at 2 am with weird dreams.  Not scary dreams, but weird.  I had a hard time resting.  I attributed it to some anxiety over jury service.  I'm not scared of jury service, but it's a change in routine so I was somewhat worried and did my visualization (visualized it going well) but it basically went down a rabbit hole of crazy since that's where I'm living. 

When I got up with my alarm- I did my gratitude and had my pink drink. 

My breakfast was a clean protein bar since it's earlier than I wanted to eat and enjoyed it in the car.  I packed a Lean meal replacement and apple for lunch, and cheese crackers for a snack.  I had drank my Active for energy around 9 AM, then ate the apple and cheese crackers around 10 in the Jury room...and lunch was delayed until after 1 because we got dismissed and I ran to the store.

I'm sure this delay in food did not help my moods.

Dinner tonight was taco night- I mean it's Taco Tuesday, right?  I had my balance, one taco, a small serving of rice and the rest basically as a salad.   I didn't even finish my plate- still not super hungry from my delayed lunch.  Even though it was a shake- those Lean meal replacements can fill a person up!

Right before 7 PM- when I'm going to start cutting myself off from eating- I had a snack of sliced pineapple and cottage cheese! Yum!  One of my favorites.

I'll be ending my evening with lots more water (I've already had 8 16-oz bottles today) and a few meetings!

Tomorrow morning I get up early to run!  (oh, I walked today to get my steps in- so moved at least 30 minutes to hit goal!)

Thanks for listening to my daily drama.  I didn't hit anyone- so there's always hope for tomorrow though.  I almost cried in the car, but I didn't.  

Blessings in Health and Happiness.

A somewhat better day...

Today was a better day- although since yesterday I said I bawled in the shower like a baby I'm not sure how much it takes for that.

Started the day off right with my daughter doing some running intervals before her school and anyone else got up at home.

Then I had my morning supplements- some before eating breakfast and some with breakfast while I did my gratitude and journals to prepare for the last 90 days starting tomorrow.  

I had a healthy breakfast of scrambled eggs and banana and drank a lot of water through the morning.  Mid-morning I had my BioCleanse per usual.   

For lunch I had a yummy Caesar Salad and my Active drink to keep up energy.  Plenty more water and my BioCleanse mid-afternoon.  

My afternoon snack wasn't the healthiest- crackers and cheese- but it was better than my yesterday snack of M&Ms and it filled me up until dinner- so I'm calling it progress!

Dinner was supposed to be church group Italian night- it got postponed tonight.  We had baked Ziti and I took my Balance with it since it was my biggest carb meal for the day.  (forgot a picture).  

I had been arguing with Eli with him not doing any school work and absolutely refusing to do his reading today.  Stress started running high and thoughts of running away started around 3.  Gave up fighting with him and made him just sit in his chair even though he wasn't working.   Really wanting chocolate to make me feel better.  Finally happened with a small bowl of cereal (count chocula) around 7 PM.   

I said I'd be honest.  And honestly- I shouldn't have had the Ziti because it didn't sound good and should have just had cereal for dinner.   

I did NOT have any drinks with calories- so I'm already fulfilling my Last 90 Day official given up food.  So once again, that's something.  

Here's to tomorrow being a little bit better.  

Blessings in health and happiness

Breaking point....and line in the sand.

This morning I cried in the shower.   Ugly, nasty crying where I had to sit down and let the sobs wrack my body. 

Afterwards I got out of the shower, and cried more to my husband. 

I've hit my point.  My breaking point of not being able to live this way anymore. 

I'm exhausted, want to cry all time, nauseated, stressed out, and miserable. I feel fat too- but that's not the worst.  I know part of why I'm miserable is what I've been feeding myself and it's not only led to extra weight where I don't fit in my clothes well anymore, but contributing to my feeling miserable. 

It's easy to know things.  I know when I eat sugary, processed, crap food that I'll feed bad bacteria which leads to bad moods.  I know when I eat more of those foods it causes inflammation and decreases serotonin in my brain- what my brain needs to be happy.  I've known for a long time that I need to get my stress eating under control and that I can't outrun a bad diet.  (HELLO- I ran 11 miles less than 2 weeks ago and have gained 3 pounds since).  I know lots of stuff.  I know what to eat. I know what mind games to do to get me there.  The problem has been my emotions (and probably bad gut bacteria that I'm feeding) have been leading the way.   It's EASIER to NOT do the right things even though I feel awful.

At church today, the pastor talked about humans always will go the path of least resistance because that's easier even if it's not good for us.  Man was he talking to me.  100%. 

So now it's time.  Because I can't keep doing this.   Instead of being random posts on health topics, this is going to be my newest journey.  I'm going to try to do it journal style.  Food and exercise journal.  Wins, losses.  All of it.  Hope you don't mind the real me.  Because ugly sobs are possible again.  I'm doing this in conjunction with Rachel Hollis' Last 90 days work- gratitude, exercise, self care, and goals- to end the year strong so I can begin stronger.  I'll need whatever motivation I can get.  And feel free to pop to her page to sign up- it's free. 

So before the nasty crying- I ran 4 miles with one of my best friends.  She has been my therapist awhile now, and usually her and a good run can handle what life throws at me.  Life has been throwing faster though.....

After the ugly crying....I had my Pink Drink (Slim Hunger Control) and some MetaBurn to try to ramp up my metabolism (and hopefully my mood too- I haven't had it in months so fingers crossed)....

Then I made a healthy breakfast for everyone- and I took my vitamins and some Ease for pain and inflammation. 

I drank a ton of water- like normal.  I usually do way more than 1/2 my body weight in water because of all the running I do. I had an Active during church- keep me awake all day.  I've been dragging so much that if I don't drink one I am doing everything in my power to keep my eyes open after noon.    Lunch was pretty healthy- we had a meeting at church and they catered Chipotle.  I made myself a bowl with lots of veggies and just a little rice and a few chips- and used Balance before to block and balance sugar and carbs. 

This afternoon I had a slump where I went to the kitchen hunting for a snack and got a few handfuls of M&Ms.  Trust me- if you have seen what I've been eating the last several days, this is nothing on the calorie scale. 

But I really need to do better.....I had 3 baby carrots too.  Didn't hit the spot like the M&Ms. 
More water, BioCleanse both between breakfast/lunch and lunch/dinner. 

For dinner we went out to a local seafood restaurant.  I got fish and sweet potato fries.  Took some Block- a carb blocker.   I had water though, no soda.  So that's something. 

More water at home, Probio5, Mega-x, and Ease at bedtime.  No more snacks- another win!  Evening is my worst time usually. 

So here's my shame.  My measurements, weight and pictures.   My daughter has pointed out that I'm still over 10 pounds below my heaviest before Plexus.  And I know that should make me feel better.  Emotionally I'm in too much of a wreck to care though.  I also know if I don't make changes, eventually that 10+ pounds will come back too.  We can only out supplement and out exercise junk for so long.  No excuses. 

So here we go....

 

So that's it today.  Tomorrow is the last day of September...then last 90 days kicks in full steam ahead.  My mind, body and soul need this more than I can convey on here. 

I pray my sincerity and story may help someone in the future.

Blessings in Health and Happiness,

Sticker charts!! What has been missing from your goals!

Who doesn’t love a prize for doing what you should?   I know my children can always be bribed, and really I can too.

*Can you work extra? You’ll get more money!   Sure!
*Do you want to upgrade? You get twice as much for only $2!  Sure!!!
*Do you want our store card? You’ll save 20% today!   Hot dang a deal!  (Although I almost always say no to these)

You get my point.

So if you’re having a hard time getting yourself into a good habit try a sticker calendar or point system with rewards!!!

This can be used for food, water, exercise- basically anything.

First you set rules- minimums and guidelines for earning, and then prizes (not unhealthy ones please) and you’re off!!

I’m currently earning “points” for eating healthy and exercise.  I can earn 2 points a day- one for completing exercise and one for eating healthy.  There’s also a chance for bonus points for long distance runs (since I’m training for a half marathon).  My 14 year old daughter is holding my accountable and deciding if I’m going outside of healthy with eating.

We have prizes for cashing in points like a new running belt, a mani-pedi, a massage, a new outfit and more.   Make your list for you and make sure your points match the effort for each.

If you’re someone who needs outside motivation and accountability (which most people do!) this is a great one to try!

Blessings in health and happiness!

How to not be hungry

Okay, so this is a compilation of several ideas, tips and maybe crap advice about what you can try to do to reduce hunger.  Bullet points seem to make the most sense to me- so here we go.

• Protein and good fat with meals.  You need fat and protein with your meals or else your meals are crap.  They won’t keep you full any decent amount of time and you’ll be hungry a lot. 
•  Pick up Kelly Leveque’s book Body Love and read about hunger hormones.  She goes through all the science of which hormones keep you hungry and which keep you full and how to turn them off and on.  If you want your body to help you through this, you’ll want to use science to your advantage. 
• Drink water.  Keep your stomach full of water and don’t be dehydrated.  Your body can often confuse dehydration with hunger.  Stay hydrated my friends and you won’t need to snack so much. 
• Some appetite suppressants work, and some are crap.  Some are prescription, some are supplemental.  You need to research side effects, how they work, and if it’s right for you.  I personally like Plexus’ Boost- it really decreases my hunger. 
• Stop thinking about food.  Really.  Stop stressing about it, obsessing over it, thinking about it nonstop and it won’t be such a big deal that your life revolves around.  I seriously cut my cravings just by not worrying about it. 
• Say no.  Okay, this is more of it you AREN’T hungry.  Say no.  I often would say yes just because it sounds good.  You know what this does? Turns on my appetite and then I want to eat even more or yell at myself for my choices.  Say no when you aren’t hungry.  The only person who it matters whether you partake is the one who will hate themselves later for the extra food.
•  Exercise.  Now this can be a double-edged sword but hang with me.  I know if I’ve done a hard work out several days in a row or a long run I’ll be more hungry and that’s understandable, but if you aren’t brand new to this activity you shouldn’t be starving and definitely don’t need to eat ALL the calories.  In general, when I get hungry when I shouldn’t be, I often will move if I’m hungry.  Take a walk, take a run, do some squats, anything.  This has two benefits.  Sometimes the hunger goes away- much like drinking extra water can make it go away.  Then if the hunger is still there, I have burnt a few extra calories to make up for it.  If I’m really that hungry, I’ll pick a healthy snack plus the exercise, so I’m balanced out. 

I can’t think of any more ideas now, but these are some tips that have worked for me and others (because I have seen most of them before from other sources).   Hope this helps someone!

Blessings in Health and happiness.

Measuring Weight Loss Progress

So you’ve decided it- you’re going to try to get healthy and lose weight and fit into smaller pants!  Great!

But let me warn you- the little box on the floor of your bathroom is a liar and mean!  This is the scale I’m talking about if you haven’t deduced this.  Your weight is important but doesn’t tell the whole story. 

How to combat the liar on the floor?  2 big tools everyone needs to do along with taking their weight.

1-     Pictures

2-     Measurements

Measurements are the easier for people to do, so I’ll start with that.  You want to get a tape measure and do several different areas on the body.  Most common measurements are waistline, hip line, bust line, and thigh.  Some people also do under bust and arms depending on goals. 

You want to make sure to do these with the same amount of clothes on each time and try to be in the exact same spot.  

Here’s a chart with where you take these measurements:

Measurements are more important than the scale because we all want to LOOK better.  The scale will never tell you how you look.  My weight may only go down 2 or 3 pounds, but I may go down 2-3 pant sizes which is life changing!!  If you strictly went by weight, you may be frustrated and give up and not realize you are making the gains you want!

The one NO ONE wants to do is Pictures!  But once again- we want to feel healthy, but we also want to LOOK good.  Pictures can tell so much!!

Look at my before and after pictures:

It’s it amazing how much skinnier I got on my waistline?!?  Taking measurements, I could tell the changes were happening, but seeing is believing for many of us and there is no denying how amazing the pictures are!  

Please take pictures and measurements!  If you really do the work, you will be so happy you did this extra step and can see your results much better!

Blessings in Health and Happiness!

Let It Go

I’m channeling my inner Elsa for this blog post today.  Let it go.  

This post is a little more Zen than I usually am, but it feels right for me right now.  This is where I am which is a good place, I think.  

So a little back story- the last year has been a stressful rollercoaster of medical problems, emotional problems, financial problems, work problems and more in our house.  Nothing horribly bad, but a lot of changes and I, like many people, got back into bad habits and had difficulty pulling myself back out of them.  I would talk about changing, and really want to, but after a day or two life would throw another ball at me and to keep juggling my personal goals would-be put-on hold.

Then I was listening to a Rachel Hollis podcast (like I often do, I love her) and I heard her read a part of a chapter from her book Girl Wash Your Face.  It talked about how we were often the first ones we would break promises to.  Especially women, we tend to put other people’s priorities ahead of our own even with people don’t ask us to.  This is me.  I get worked up about the house being a disaster (I mean, it really bothers me), or put my kid’s to-do list items above my to-do list items.  And honestly, I put it on myself. No one does this. No one says to mark off everyone else’s to do list before mine, I do it.  And her podcast really put that in perspective and got me thinking in a new light I haven’t thought of before. 

Why do I worry about it?  Really?  No, really???  Because it’s my job?  Who’s paying me?  No one. That’s who.   Who cares about it other than me?  The answer is no one.  My kids and husband don’t see the mess let along care about the pigsty they may be living in. Nor do my kids worry about anything I put on the to-do list for them with rare exceptions. 

And here’s the biggest thing.  My healthy eating?  This is a head game many people I know play as frequent and as well as I do.  But who cares about every single little thing that goes in my mouth?  Once again, the answer is no one.   I don’t have to justify my eating to anyone.  This was mind blowing for me.  You know why?  Because when I voiced to myself that I need to not worry about it, all the sudden it was EASY to DO!

What?!?!?   I stopped stressing, and then it made it easier to follow a healthy eating plan.  Why?  Because I wasn’t stressing about what to eat, which made me want to stress eat.   LET IT GO and try for yourself. 

In the same vein, I stopped stressing about exercise.  Stopped trying to do complex calculations about what to do when and how to incorporate new things which I’ve said I was going to do but never stick.  And you know when I’ve missed a workout since letting it go.  Never.   Because I just do it. 

I swear I, and maybe you, are wasting a ton of time and energy worrying about stuff and it’s making us unsuccessful!  Maybe meditate or pray over this awhile and see if you too should let it go.

   

Blessings in health and happiness

Phases of Habits

So a personal growth book I’m reading- The Miracle Morning for Network Marketers by Hal Elrod and Pat Patrial- discussed the phases we go through with starting new habits and it really spoke to me so I want to share some of this with you!

Phase 1- Days 1-10.  They call this the Unbearable time.  This is when it’s awful and you don’t want to.  You literally must make yourself get through this stage to have any chance of success.  It’s mind over matter. 

Phase 2- Days 11-20.  This one is called Uncomfortable.  You are starting to get used to it, but it still feels uncomfortable to do.  This is a tricky time!  You feel like you’re making strides and going to be successful and this is where many people try to reward themselves and give themselves a break.  DON’T DO IT!  It’s a trap!  It will make you feel like you’re back in the Unbearable times!

Phase 3- Days 21-30.  This is called Unstoppable.  Things are basically automatic.  Whatever routine you were trying to get into, you are there now.  It starts feeling unnatural to do your old habits.  You feel good with yourself and your decisions and it’s easier to do your new habit then the old habits. 

Think about any habits you’ve tried to change before?  Doesn’t this speak true?   Or even if you didn’t try to change- think about daylights savings time- by day 21 you’re used to the new times even though the first 10 days are a horrible mess of not knowing when to go to bed, right?

So what’s the point?  The point is, whatever your new habit you want to be- getting up in the morning, eating healthier, exercise- it’s going to be unbearable for 10 days, uncomfortable another 10, then by day 30 it’ll be a habit you’re ready to rock forever!  Aim for 30 days and don’t quit on yourself!

Blessings in health and happiness.

Getting Started Running

I am a runner.  It’s weird to say, because 4 years ago I didn’t run anywhere and would joke that if I was running you should run too!  How I became a runner was so gradual I didn’t realize it was even happening, but now people come to me for advice when starting their own journey, so I want to share some tips and information I picked up along the way.

First, my story.  My exercise every night used to be a 2-mile walk.  This was 3 laps around our neighborhood.  One day, I was tired about how long it was taking- so I jogged a few driveways and then walked again.  Then I kept jogging a little more, and a little more.  I never jogged the whole circle, just enough to cut the time it took to finish 2 miles.   One weekend my dad was at our house and wanted to go on my “walk” with me.  After a little time, I asked if we could jog a little.  He said he couldn’t jog.  I asked him to try for a few driveways anyway and we did.  After that, HE started reading about running and starting trying to do what we affectionately call the “fat man jog” off and on until HE could run a whole lap without stopping.  In his reading and looking into running, he discovered RunDisney and the races at Disney World.  He signed himself up for a half marathon and asked if I wanted to do a 10k.  I had done a few 5ks years ago- walking- so why not.  Sounded fun and I had around 8 months to train. 

I started running with my daughter on her bike carrying water for me and telling me how far I needed to run each time.  She was actually a very good motivator and it got her physical activity too.  I read more about running and found out I was pushing myself too hard.  **Tip 1** If you can’t run the distance you want- try slowing down and shortening your stride.  This will increase your endurance and once you have the distance you can start trying to speed back up.  I was exhausting myself but once I slowed down I could do 3 times the distance with changing nothing else!**  My training runs I had gotten up to 4 miles, but not a full 10 k before the weekend came up.  My goal was to run at least the 5k without stopping, then figuring out what I could do from there.

Enter a rainy early morning in the Epcot parking lot.  I was cold, I was wet, and I was excited!  I had not done many races and the sheer number of people, not to mention fireworks when we took off running was amazing!  The first 5k is mainly street running, then you get into the park and get to run around the resorts!  I ended up not stopping at all for the full 10k and my dad and mom were at the finish line to see me cross!   It wasn’t terribly fast, but it was such a great accomplishment!!  Not to mention, I fully had the Disney Run bug.  Seeing characters even without stopping and running in the park is an experience everyone should have!  

After my dad’s half marathon, we were both hooked and started planning for the following November and Disney’s Wine and Dine weekend.  I signed up for my first half marathon ever and started training with better knowledge and bumped up my mileage until I was up to 8 or 9 miles before that.  The half marathon is a whole different beast and I did need to walk some after mile 10- but once again, the sense of accomplishment crossing that finish line can’t be beat!  After this weekend I was ready for my first challenge and I signed up for all princess weekend races.  **Tip 2- this is also when I learned about getting fitted for shoes at a running store.  They can evaluate your gait and then you can try on multiple brand’s shoes that are for the way your feet hit the ground!  Worth the time and doesn’t cost any extra**

This was where in my running story I really got serious. I wanted a PR.  I trained for the princess 10k for a personal record and had an actual training plan in my planner.  **Tip 3- training plans don’t have to be complicated.  I did 3 days a week of either treadmill walk or short run, then a long run on the weekend.  I had written out how many miles for the long run and kept myself to it no matter what**.  I also got serious about eating healthier and fueling my body right.  This is when speed started coming for me.  I went from 12-minute miles to 9-minute miles with proper training and nutrition.  I kept with this training plan for another year and got PR for a half marathon, another 10 k and completed the Dopey (5k, 10k, ½ marathon and full marathon- my first full- all in 1 weekend). 

Life got in the way a little after this.  I would skip a work-out here and there.  My running buddy for long runs couldn’t run, so I slacked off.  Stress decreased some of the healthy eating.  It all crept up slowly (over a year total) but eventually I struggled to complete a 10k without stopping.   I decided to start from scratch.  I downloaded a couch to 10k app and started an accountability group on Facebook.  I have worked myself back up and have signed up for more races with goals to set new personal records.  **Tip 4- couch to 10k or 5k apps are often free and gradually work yourself up to running.  Much like when I started with going further and further, these apps will tell you when to walk and when to run.  If you want help doing this- it’s a great one to use.   

That is the start of my story, but it will be longer.  I want to break a 2 hour half marathon next year and I’m running with my daughter for her first half marathon.  My running buddy also wants to improve her half marathon time by next year. 

Everyone’s running stories are different, but the main key is to figure out what works for you, and run for it!

Blessings in health and happiness.

Winning the Morning

Today we’re talking about the power of being a morning person.  You may be thinking- “maybe you like mornings Sarah, but I just can’t.”  Well let me tell you something…I hate mornings.  I don’t like getting up early either and I can easily be queen of the snooze button.  I used to have multiple alarms on my phone- one for when I need to get up if I exercise, one for if I get up and don’t exercise but shower, and one for better get up or you aren’t making it.   But there is some powerful evidence that getting up early can help with so many things.

It’s true that the early bird gets the worm.  Studies show that people who get up earlier are more productive through the whole day compared to their snooze button friends.    It also has strong evidence for reducing stress and anxiety because you start earlier and have more control over your day! 

So how to make the switch from night owl to early bird?  It takes time, frustration and new habit setting but ANYONE can do it if they want to!  Here’s some tips that may help you make the transition!

1-     Put your alarm across the room.   If you must physically get up to turn it off, you’re more likely to stay up.  Don’t keep your alarm on your bedside!

2-     Go to the bathroom and wash your face or brush your teeth as soon as you turn off your alarm.  Once again, keep moving so you don’t go lay back down!

3-     Drink a big glass or bottle of water.  This helps recover from dehydration state and once again is movement that will wake you fully up. 

4-     Shower or go exercise- this depends on your morning schedule.  Both will get you fully awake and far from being able to crawl back to bed where you want to.

The first week you’ll have to make yourself do this.  The next week it will be a little easier but don’t fall into temptation to award yourself to sleep in quite yet- your body can easily switch back to old habits still.  After 30 days it should basically be routine and unless you start adding back in bad habits- you are officially a morning person!  Now it’s time to tackle the day more productively!  Use the extra time for reading, exercise, gratitude and journaling, personal growth time.  All the things you “don’t have time for”- this is the time to do it!

Blessings in Health and Happiness!

I Don't Want To

Today’s blog post is a rambling about my feelings, difficulties I’ve been face to face with for months, and ways I’m pulling myself out.      

I have been having what I call the “I don’t want to” lately.   It’s almost a borderline depression/anxiety/mood disorder, but not severe enough to need intervention.  It’s also disguised as laziness, but it’s not.  I just don’t want to.   I just don’t want to take the effort to do anything- big or small.  I don’t want to exercise even though I know it will make me feel better, because I don’t want to.  I don’t want to go to work, not because it’s bad but because I just don’t want to.   I don’t want to write a blog post, because I just don’t want to.  I don’t want to eat healthy, because I want brainless quick food because I don’t want to cook or prep or be responsible.   The list goes on and on.  

I’m writing about this because it’s a thing I think a lot of people suffer with but have a hard time putting into words.  I have a hard time putting it into words and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it as both a medical professional and a mother/runner/woman who doesn’t want to feel this way, but doesn’t want to put in the work it takes to get out- because I don’t want to. 

So, this post is some words of advice as a mother/runner/women/health professional/personal development reader.  Some are my ideas, some are other’s ideas (I will give credit), some are twists on other people’s ideas after being processed through my brain.  But, one thing right now- this isn’t a touchy-feely/things will be okay post, this is a raw real advice that can help post.  In the words of my Disney running group- no pixie dust up the bum here. 

First, it’s okay to feel how you feel.   We all have challenges.  We all have ups and downs.  We all have struggles.  We all have excuses.   But….

Second, call out your excuses.  That is what they all are.  Excuses.  I’m too tired.  I’m too busy.  My kids don’t let me.  My budget doesn’t allow.  These are all excuses.  They may be accurate, and they may be holding you back, but they all can be changed if YOU WANT TO.  I FIRMLY BELIEVE THERE IS ZERO EXCUSE THAT IS LIFE LONG AND UNCHANGABLE. 

• -        You have bad knees and can’t exercise?  Tell that to the military man who is running marathons with a prosthetic leg.  You can find something to do- it might hurt but who freaking cares.  If your health is worth it you will make it happen.    
• -        You have budget issues and can’t afford healthy food?  Bull.  With proper meal planning and using sales it’s less expensive to buy healthy stuff than junk food, PLUS when you eat healthier, you’ll need less trash to fill you up.  And don’t get me started on restaurant prices- if you can eat out even just once a week you can buy healthy food at a store.
• -        You don’t have time.  BIG LOAD OF BULL.  Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day.  Why do some people seem to do it all and others can’t get things done?  Priority and excuses.  That’s all. 
• -        There’s many, many more along this line…but you get the point. 

Third is a suggestion to start moving forward out of the “I don’t want to.”   Do it anyway.  UGH.  So awful, so unkind, but the only way to start climbing out of the hole.  Start with one thing. That’s what I’m doing now.  I found a way to stay accountable with exercise 3 times a week and have been doing it for 8 weeks now.  I also have gotten my supplements straightened out and stopped using excuses to not take them.  They really help and are great tools, but tools don’t work alone.  We must do the work.    Now I’m going to start kicking myself in the butt with eating, because honestly that’s what’s suffering the worst.  It’s not going to be easy, but I found a new mantra which is from the Marines, but I read it in the book High Performance Habits by Brenden Burchard which is “embrace the suck.”   This is what I need to do.  Embrace the fact that it’s not going to be fun, but it needs done anyways.  If I don’t embrace the suck and keep going for easy, then I will not only not meet my goals but continue down a path that WILL lead to depression and anxiety that needs medicated. 

Fourth- goes along with that quote- the self-talk in your brain needs a talking to.  To be honest, I’ve been full of negative self-talk.  It’s so not good to talk bad to yourself, it’s pulling you further down in the hole you’re in.  There are several books I’ve read on the topics and just reading the book even if you don’t put everything into practice can help pull you up to a better place!  Some books I recommend- Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis and What to Say When You Talk to Yourself by Chad Helmstetter.  Being honest, I’m in a weird in-between spot where I’m yelling at myself for being down on myself- not sure if that counts as a negative self-talk or positive self-talk but here, I am! 

I’m a work in progress too.  This is where I am.  I’m tired of running myself in circles and being committed for a day or two but then doing the easy thing which isn’t getting me to where I want to be.  As I work through my issues and continue to dig out, I will post more rambling posts with the hope I can help others get cured from the “I don’t want to” also. 

Blessings in Health and Happiness.