So one thing I continuously forget about talking or posting about is what I take very first thing after I open my eyes.
I pop a Plexus Vitalbiome probiotic first thing on a empty stomach. This probiotic is under the nutrition category of Plexus products and has ingredients that may improve mood. If you go to the Plexus website there is more information on the details of the claims- but basically in studies Bifidobacterium longum and Lactobacillus helveticus has some really good research about improving moods and lessening symptoms of anxiety and mood issues, and Vitalbiome contains both of these strands.
So let me rewind a little and tell you my whole story.
I knew I had mood issues as a teenager. I mean, most teenagers do I think, but I would have some really rough times with not good thoughts. I mostly kept them to myself but there was about once a month like clockwork that was much worse and anger especially popped up at that time. Any guesses what time?
No, it wasn't PMS. Actually it was the week before. While not diagnosed for several years, my GYN eventually diagnosed me with PMDD. Basically a form of depression that follows female hormone cycles. So that explained it for years.
Then during the second semester of my first year at graduate school, I started having worse feelings and it was ALL THE TIME. The one thing I could hold onto with my PMDD is that it would pass. This wasn't.
When the semester ended, I went to my normal family doctor's office and like any good nurse who half self diagnoses herself asked for full blood work to make sure nothing was wrong. It came back normal except mildly low Vitamin D. I was told to take OTC and recheck in 1 months. After I rechecked I was told it was normal and nothing else (it was done via phone call). My moods weren't AS bad but I wasn't in school at the moment but I still didn't feel good and felt like they basically brushed me off.
As the next semester approached symptoms started ramping up- I was either binge eating or not eating, sleep was next to impossible, and my stomach felt horrible all the time. It's also important to note that I was exercising routinely and had lost almost all of the baby weight from Eli who was 3 I think. I was doing healthy habits in general as it was ramping up.
My first day back to class I also happened to have my yearly check with my GYN. That morning I threw up after not sleeping all night and not eating for over a day. My doctor- who had delivered both of my kids so I knew her well- walked in and said "hi" and "how are things" and I busted out crying. (now being a provider I know how uncomfortable that had to have been). She diagnosed me with anxiety and depression and started me on medication. Over a few weeks we changed the dose around to decrease side effects and get my moods under control and I was feeling great. After that semester I even went back for a check up and was ready to stop it. She told me no. She said I had 2 more years of school and then was going to move another state, I wasn't going to stop until we were settled. I'm so glad she was there. She talked to me no-nonsense and helped me get through that time.
After moving to Florida I was able to wean off the medication and life was good. Then Eli started having more health problems. This was the same time Plexus released Vitalbiome and I started taking it and noticed immediately how much better I felt (and didn't realize how moody I had been!). I took it for several months but I ran out at one point and forgot to reship and didn't notice any change so just didn't get around to it. About a year after that life stress (work, Eli, and some minor things with everyone else but added to bigger things makes a difference) was ramping up again and I was feeling awful and on edge again. A lot like years ago. I seriously considered seeing one of the practitioners I work with and restarting medication, but then one day was on my Plexus site and noticed the Vitalbiome. I decided to give that another shot first.
It worked. It helped keep me off medication. I also went to therapy for awhile. It gave me a safe place to vent everything that was happening. Justify my feelings somewhere were I wasn't judged. I was blessed insurance covered it and I would probably still be going if my insurance now did. She also taught me some other coping techniques. She tried to teach me meditation- that's hard for me but every now and then I try it. I still felt stressed and moody off and on but wasn't a constant battle. Since then I haven't stopped the Vitalbiome.
Now I will tell you, about 2 months ago I started thinking back and forth- do I need medication? The thoughts, the moods, the everything that goes with anxiety and depression have been getting bad again and I never stopped the Vitalbiome this time. I knew I was sabotaging myself with not eating well, so I hated the idea of the medication. Plus it has side effects that I didn't want unless I had to.
And that brings us to almost 2 weeks ago when I decided once and for all I was going to do something about it. I was going to eat healthy. I was going to get back into shape. Weight and inches going off is great- but if I didn't lose a pound and get my mind back that's all that I care about.
And I'm getting there. Much less bad thoughts. A little more ability to keep my cool? I feel like I'm not quite as volatile this week compared to 2 weeks ago.
The long and short of the story is- when you're dealing with anxiety, depression or other mental health issues medication isn't bad, but if you have an underlying issue, you can fix that and it may help. I will always have underlying anxiety and usually my coping mechanisms (exercising, reading, prayer) work but I need to be healthy (gut health, eating habits) for that to happen. These things can go in any order. If you need medication first to dig you out of the trenches, go talk to your provider. If you want to work on getting healthy first then do that (Do NOT do this if you're suicidal or want to seriously harm others- go to the ER or call 911). Most of these issues are hormone imbalances- so eating things that increase inflammation in your body and decrease production of happy hormones make a huge difference. These are usually long term issues that won't ever fully go away because we will always have stress. The difference is how we deal with that stress and what condition our bodies are in to help us along.
And you know what. I know it sucks. It's hard. You're in a dark, moody, grumpy, angry, don't want to do anything place and you don't want to work on yourself either. If it were easy we'd all do it- mood issues or not. There comes a point where you get up or you go get help. You will fall again, but then you'll get up again. And again. And again.
I hope this helps someone reading more about my story. Especially since I'm a nurse, momma, and supplement person. We're allowed to need help. We're allowed to go to therapy. We're allowed to need medication. But we always should try to take care of our bodies because that's at least part of the problem.
So food today- first thing had my Slim and Metaburn (after Vitalbiome). Breakfast was 2 eggs and some strawberries with my X-factor and Ease.
No morning snack- water, water, BioCleanse and Water. Lunch was kind of weird because nothing sounded good. I had some deviled eggs and leftover meatloaf.
Water, water, water. I think I had about 2-3 of these packs of fruit snacks for a snack. I should have made a better choice, but it tasted good.
Water, water, BioCleanse, Water.
Dinner was shrimp stir fry! Yum! Lots of veggies and Balanced this meal.
And no picture- but ended the day with a DQ Blizzard because my daughter had a choir concert and requested a stop on the way home. It was good but for some reason I cough a lot when I eat cold stuff like that. Is that weird?
Hopefully tomorrow I make a few better choices.
Blessings in Health and Happiness
